Ever since I started participating in making music, I’ve used it to express myself, usually about something that is on my mind at any given time. Sometimes I have been working through something personal, but sometimes I’ve simply been inspired by something, be it a thought, feeling or something I’ve watched or listen to. This becomes apparent when you look at my Twin Peaks worship. My latest release, Hörmungarhyggja, is one that incorporates both.

After knowing about it for a long time, I finally gave myself the time and courage to listen the The Caretaker’s Everywhere at the End of Time. I am not sure how, but I listened to all stages in one sitting. I had never heard something so beautiful, yet so difficult before. After letting it sit with me for a while, ideas for a new release started to form. I wanted to do something with a consept where I tell my own story.

It has never been a secret that I deal with chronic depression, and while I make harsh noise under the Sjálfshatur moniker purely dedicated to that, I wanted to do something different than that. While keeping some of the noise elements, I am more focused on heavy drone and dark ambient elements as well as broken melodies.

Hörmungarhyggja is my attempt to explain how I experience this mental illness that has followed me for as long as I can remember. The release tells a linear story, starting in my early youth and continuing as my story progresses, with each of the nine tracks dedicated to a specific period or a theme in my life and culminating in… I don’t know anymore, and nothing about it really matters.

There is no way I could ever explain perfectly what chronic depression, or any mental illness, feels like for anyone else, but after spending a lot of time on composing these songs, mixing and listening to the results, going back to fine tune something and listening to them again, I feel they are a fairly decent description of what it feels like for me. How muddy and clouded my thoughts can be, yet sometimes clear and repetitive. How my mind tries to fight but is succumbed by the constant numbness. How everything has gradually gotten worse.

There is a small part of me that wishes that composing, recording and releasing Hörmungarhyggja would mean something, but while I am proud of this music that I have put together, I just don’t feel like anything matters anymore. I leave you with, what I hope will be, the Soundscape of my Last Moments.

Nothing means anything
everything means nothing
nothing is of any significance.

Any response is futile
an answer changes nothing
for there is nothing to be changed
Since nothing is.

Thank you for listening.